There’s a dull clawing deep inside you. Something familiar but undefinable. An emotion, an idea, a thought that both describes you and terrifies you.
It’s something heavy and deep-rooted. It feels like the very secret of existence, and you want to understand it.
But if you follow it, try to put it down on paper and make it definable, you may fall into the hole. And you fear you won’t be able to climb out.
You fear how that state of mind will affect your relationships, your well-being, your breath.
So you don’t follow it. You go to work on something quieter, something safer, instead.